If he doesn’t care enough to make you happy he probably doesn’t care much at all. Listen up. Source: I’m a doctor. It makes me feel king of shitty. Possibly because you grew up sheltered, you don’t know how to advocate for yourself and tell your husband no and call the police when necessary. If you figure out you’re on different pages, you might leave him, and that’s a risk he’s avoiding. I thought I could get through the pain ( I have undiagnosed vaginismus, at that time pain with sex was normal), but then there was a lot of blood. I am not AT ALL surprised she's experiencing regular vaginismus. After that, I stopped trying to make sex about me, or even us. When your partner or family members need you, you somehow manage it to help them in the best … In other words, men generally spend more of their money on things they consider important to them. Has it always hurt this much? Please go see an OBGYN and get checked out. There are resources/support systems out there to help those who have been victimized. He tells you he loves you even if he doesn’t feel it or mean it because he doesn’t care about the aftermath, he lives for the moment. Or he’s in a emotional prison,distraught,hurt,angry,etc. I was sexually abused and raped repeatedly by my first partner during a three year relationship. So for as long as he can, he’s going to keep you in the dark. The text of the post has been preserved below. It’s understandable to feel bummed when a guy doesn’t care about you the way you care about him, and shedding tears over the situation can actually help you feel better. you need to leave. Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Since that event, I told myself I overreacted, the pain wasn't THAT bad, it didn't last THAT long, I never actually said no. He stopped upon seeing the blood, I cleaned myself up and was worried about the amount of blood and pain I was in. 5 Signs He Doesn't Care About Your Feelings & Doesn't Take The Relationship Seriously. What I ended up reading: A story about rape. Take care of your daughter and yourself. I can't even begin to list all the problems I have—money, health, job, family tensions, you name it. Aug. 28, 2017. So hold on to your nerve while you dive deep into the … As for getting him to talk, saying, “I’m here if there’s anything you want to talk about,” doesn’t actually get people talking. He loves sex, and it's very easy for me to turn him on and get things going, the problem is is that I'm getting tired of being the only one to initiate it. It is just about him. If it doesn't, you need to stop and communicate with your partner. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. 5. If your boss waits until the required formal performance review to tell you how you’re doing (that is, if you have a review at all), he doesn’t value you. This is a clear sign that he still thinks about you. Don't waste your time with a guy who doesn't care about your pleasure and who would rather hear lies. If he thinks more, all he … If he's large he may be hitting her cervix, which is extremely painful. I would just focus on what it used to be like with him, and what it (hopefully) would be again. Please consult a doctor and also a therapist. Most people never see the obvious anyway. I'm going to let you know a secret. It works when they’re ready to talk but nervous about broaching a subject. He wants me to apologize for giving him attitude and for what I said. That's okay. He is Not Willing To Spend On You. Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/relationship_advice. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! If he lays a hand on you or becomes violent, leave immediately. Be honest about what you’re feeling and what you need and maybe it’ll prompt him to be honest in return. He’s not worth it. I know you say God cares about us but I haven't seen any evidence of it in my life. You need to find out what is causing you the pain. That being said, sex isn't supposed to hurt so much. From time to time, everybody makes excuses and compromises in … His face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and he said I had to do it. But why is this so difficult for a parent, a adult? But you can leave as soon as you see signs that he doesn’t care. Try doing No contact if you haven't already. Aug. 28, 2017. Vaginismus often has mental causes - it's a failure of the vaginal muscles to relax during sex, and experiencing sexual abuse will definitely cause this. He called me disrespectful and I shouldn’t be saying he doesn’t care when he’s trying to be a good dad to me. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Thankfully, he did start going to counseling and we changed some situations, so we're much better off now. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Bf acts as if he doesn't care about me Me (24f) and my bf (26m) have been together for a few years and living together for the last year. Here are four. Moderators remove posts from feeds for a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, and true to their purpose. Like you had no reason to talk to him that way. He’s scared because he knows that you’re the real deal, and maybe, right now, that’s not what he wants. I tag him in our photos and check us in places, and he doesn’t untag himself. Once he’s finished, he’s ready to go straight to sleep — he couldn’t care … If you’re a candidate for the black sheep journal, you’ll find redemption in these words. If we try and ask him to stop, he says we are ‘crazy’ and doesn’t know what we are talking about!” “We took a personality test and I am a 9.75 out of 10 on caring for others. Or – signs your family doesn’t like you. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. The answer to your question is so simple, yet sooo many people seem to dance around it. It feels like he doesn't care about me and the kids. Your partner should not be raping you. When you spilled your heart out to him, when you told him everything you have been bottling up inside, and he acted like you were crazy. 17. I can't count the number of times I have been the one to stop because I can't bear the thought of hurting her. Need help with your relationship? He doesn’t care about you. Sign #7: He doesn’t ask you any questions about you and doesn’t seem interested in who you are. You don’t want to be with a man who has to lose you in order to finally wake up to himself and realize you are in fact what he wants, or, on top of that, a man who wouldn’t even care if he … The issue I’m having is that I feel like he doesn’t want to hang out with me. Need help with your relationship? You have to learn how to cope with it. This is awful! If overall he seems really into you (and when a guy likes you, it’s easy to see), and he doesn’t text back, then it’s probably because he’s busy or distracted. She doesn’t praise you publicly. If he's distant, it's because he doesn't care enough. My son is in seventh grade and is failing most classes. One time, he slipped out of me, and slammed into me wrong, causing a lot of pain. And he’s probably cheating anyway. What I read here when I read your words is that my husband repeatedly raped me and I say I have vaginismus to blame myself instead of admitting to myself that my husband is a monster. A2A Parents are given a very difficult task. She has a lot of great resources. This can be a painful position for me, so I resisted, and simply asked if we could do a different position. If he wants to try something a little different, he expects you to go along with it. In bed, it’s all about him! Fear will do that to you. Q. He doesn’t really start conversations with me any longer (but he doesn’t avoid conversation, when I talk to him or send a text he replies right away). He’s scared because he knows that you’re the real deal, and maybe, right now, that’s not what he wants. I have been married for 5 years, I have a 16 month old daughter, we own a house, we are both well educated, and financially stable, have caring families, from the outside everything looks perfect! Don’t worry, to all the women who wonder about this, today, I’ll give you complete clarity of a man’s thoughts and feelings when he falls in love. Things just seem to work better when there's less friction. You definitely don’t sound like you want a relationship. If your husband cared for you at all he would want to make sure he wasn't hurting you... especiallydueing sex! X Research source [16] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source 8. He doesn’t care about you one bit. Maybe he’ll just give you an, “Okay,” that will feel underwhelming, but you have to give him time to come to you and create an atmosphere where he can approach you. I hate to break it to you but your husband is a fucking rapist. Cookies help us deliver our Services. I know he loves me, I can tell by the way he looks at me and body language in general, but he doesn’t star conversations with me, … But, if you’re bleeding during sex, I think it’s really, really important that you schedule a Pap smear ASAP. There is a user on here, https://www.reddit.com/user/Ebbie45 she is a domestic violence crisis counselor and there are a lot of resources on abusive relationships and how to safely leave one, if you choose, and how to stay safe in one, if you decide to stay. Press J to jump to the feed. I am getting so angry at him. He is Not Willing To Spend On You. I was taken aback, I said no, and that was the end of that situation. He says “I love you” maybe once or twice a month, and we aren’t really intimate with each other (again just once or twice a month). Except I have been struggling with our sex life, for years, and if it's normal or not. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I agree with everyone else that this sounds very much like sexual assault/rape. I don’t care if he doesn’t post about me for acquaintances to see. Have you had a sexual partner before? They Don’t Support You Back. She doesn’t praise you publicly. If he’s been wishy-washy with you from the beginning, then his texting is a reflection of how he feels. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. I hate that this is a thing, but it is a thing. If he doesn’t see how great you are, then he is blind and dumb. People care about themselves and how a situation will increase what’s valuable to them. Press J to jump to the feed. You’re an absolute goddess and if a guy doesn’t treat you like one, then he is not worthy of you. Think about it this way, do you want to put up with this for another 5 years, another 10..another 30... No! I'm a guy and my wife has endometriosis so sex has been painful for her at times. I let it happen, doesnt matter if I like it or not. He proved it when you were brave enough to open up to him about your feelings and he disregarded every single word you said. Could OP even discuss what's been going on in the bedroom without her husband losing his temper? I can't even begin to list all the problems I have—money, health, job, family tensions, you name it. He doesn’t want to commit, but that doesn’t mean he wants you to kick him out of your life. Every syllable of this. I liked sex before him, and had no problems at all. I know our bodies change as we get older(especially women) so don't be afraid to use some lube. 8. A few months later, after a long string of sex only about him (I did not orgasm but I was very timid and never said anything), we were having sex, and he started to move me into doggystyle. You don’t want to be with a man who has to lose you in order to finally wake up to himself and realize you are in fact what he wants, or, on top of that, a man who wouldn’t even care if he … What OP is describing is horrifying to even hear. The flu isn’t out to get you. 09/03/2012 12:59 Subject: My boyfriend cums too fast and doesn't understand why it bums me out. Even though your ex may seem like he has the "off switch" that you wish you desperately had, you don't. and his defense mechanism kicks in and shuts down. You can get to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows. By Cosmo Luce. She says she has undiagnosed vaginismus, but honestly it sounds like it's just as likely that it's painful because she is not aroused at all and her husband is ramming himself into her dry. He doesn’t care if you finish. He doesn’t deserve to have such a … They have been asked to help someone to grow and learn to be an adult. Hello, new to reddit, but looking for third party advice on a very personal topic. I developed vaginismis from my ex husband. Leave. It just took an opportunity to do what it’s supposed to do. He probably does care about you, he does enjoy spending time with you, he does like you … he just doesn’t like you enough. If your boss waits until the required formal performance review to tell you how you’re doing (that is, if you have a review at all), he doesn’t value you. You can get to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows. By Cosmo Luce. He was so pissed off when he threw away the cake. WHAT KIND OF A SELFISH SON OF A $!+*# DOES THIS... TO HIS OWN WIFE NO LESS!?!? You definitely don’t sound like you want a relationship. From time to time, everybody makes excuses and compromises in … Sex was always painful, even when I consented. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Son Doesn't Care About School and Grades. Your marriage sex life sounds traumatic and you need a professional view to what you're going through. When he’s leading you on, he does what’s of his best interest. The mood was bad after that. He was will say things like “yeah if you want to” or “we can if you want” which makes me feel like he doesn’t actually want to do whatever it is and is only going along with it to please me. He doesn’t think of you when he’s making decisions. A sudden random “how are you” text/call: Though he is ignoring you, if he thinks about you daily, he tends to start missing you more and more. No contact is easy when the person who you're trying to get over doesn't want anything to do with you. Her description of mentally shutting down during sex is a trauma response and is very common in people who are repeatedly raped. Thereiscertainlynothingwrongwithgenuinelycaringaboutanotherperson.Andsometimeswelovesomeonee… He kisses me but mostly on the forehead, and when we’re together in public he doesn’t tend to hold my hand unless I hold his first. Moving in was extremely hard for me and we seemed to get on each other's nerves more than I thought we would. I didnt say no, I didnt fight back, I froze. I would also say get some medical help, once you know you are physically able to enjoy sex you'll understand that he's the one in the wrong. It feels like he doesn't care about me and the kids. Toxic family members can cause a lot of stress when they show the signs your family doesn’t care about you (signs 1-4 below). Thus a small part of him doesn’t want to lose you while the other part wants to know what you are doing. The thing is, the people that matter know all about me and are happy for us. He treats me so well, but more like a friend than anything. Here are the Top Four Signs Your Family Doesn’t Care About You. Sex for him is all about being in control. You’re happy, and financially secure, and everyone thinks you’re the perfect couple and you’re married to an abusive, misogynistic rapist. When I got home he told my mom what happened and they got into an argument over it. Once you get to a certain age, you start to understand that you need to want more for yourself. Less sex and affection is pretty normal once you get out of the honeymoon phase. I am so so sorry that you are in this situation. In other words, men generally spend more of their money on things they consider important to them. When a guy says he doesn't want to be in a relationship, chances are he's being frank with you; he simply doesn't want to be in a relationship. I just let it happen. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Just wanted to add, if not in the US visit www.hotpeachpages.net. Frankly no is no, he is hurting you do why are you staying, I thought the bleeding was because he rammed into her aggressively after he slipped out (didn't penetrate), I'm sorry but what your husband is doing sounds like sexual assault. I've given up on God because He doesn't seem to care about me. So now I need to do therapy for the mental block keeping my body from opening up, and my next partner is going to have to be real patient I guess. You don’t have time to waste it on someone who doesn’t value it. His face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and he said I had to do it. You should also see a psychologist/counselor and discuss these issues with them. As long as you’re clueless about your future, he doesn’t … And, yes, definitely check out ebbie's profile. Just like anything else in life you want to master, it will require consistent practice. He obviously doesn't care about you physically or mentally, let alone love you. You have to have self-love and dignity not to chase anyone. Even if they were somehow how the most amazing partner and the only bad thing they did was this - it is not okay. I find what helps is if you initiate the conversation. But, to numb the feelings a little bit, I sometimes just constantly remind myself that the person doesn't share the same feelings and that they aren't good enough for me or don't appreciate my many, great qualities I have and that I shouldn't waste my time caring about someone who doesn't care about me. So people see it. It confuses me a lot. My fiance and I went through most of a school year in which he was depressed and suicidal and all kinds of shit, and I ended up doing this a lot. You still care about him immensely. After you try it once, you will be a fan. He doesn’t consider what you want, he only thinks about his needs. I would leave the relationship/sex, bc it’s abuse. 1. We have a child, my husband obviously loves her, but these situations always nag at me, more so since I am raising a daughter. I just let it happen. Since he doesn't care enough about you, he has no business joining you in such a discussion. More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. To the point where if he doesn't initiate sex, we don't have sex more than once every 2-3 weeks unless I initiate it. He’s made it abundantly clear that his needs are far more important than yours. I know you say God cares about us but I haven't seen any evidence of it in my life. Anonymous: There are numerous techniques to train a male to delay orgasm including Tantric Yoga. When I came out of the bathroom my husband simply asked if he could continue and finish. What I thought I was going to read: A story about a selfish lover. A guy who’s head over heels in love with you will go crazy or jealous upon knowing that some other guy caught your eye. I didnt say no, I didnt fight back, I froze. He posts about his dogs, cooking, and going fishing. Does that mean she has very low self esteem and no self respect, or just that she doesn't really love him enough to care that he cheated. 2. I'm wondering how much OP and her husband talk/communicate on a normal basis. That girl you want to date doesn’t care that you can’t get her off your mind. I've given up on God because He doesn't seem to care about me. So he doesn’t give a shit about you. I need advice on next steps in my relationship. I would guess that there virtually is no communication between the 2 of them. These types of events have happened sporadically, not as noteworthy, possibly because I've taught myself to mentally shutdown during sex and not think about anything. Or he’s in a emotional prison,distraught,hurt,angry,etc. It doesn’t give a shit about you. Either way ,it doesn’t sound like you guys should be together. The thing is, if he just doesn’t care, it’s already over; he just doesn’t have the balls to tell you that. 17. Once I got away from that relationship and got some counseling, sex stopped being painful with other partners. After all, he should be the one chasing you, not the other way around. The reality is, families who don’t care for each other are ultra-common. Either way ,it doesn’t sound like you guys should be together. This is the most obvious sign a guy will ever show, and though one of the most painful, it is the most honest. That was 4 years ago now. Soon after getting married, there was a string of hurtful sexual encounters. I am getting so angry at him. Sex is supposed to feel good for both parties. 5 Signs He Doesn't Care About Your Feelings & Doesn't Take The Relationship Seriously. Outside of this... there are still happy moments. If he doesn’t ask or doesn’t show any signs that he’s bothered with a possible competition out there, you can bet he really doesn’t care … Does he think about sex, or think about the woman he loves, or simply doesn’t care much? It may be time for this parent to change her focus. MORE: The 9 Biggest Signs He Doesn’t Want To Be With You Anymore. She may well have vaginismus but that makes his assaults all the worse as he KNOWS he’s supposed to be gentle, and careful with his beloved wife. Since he doesn't care enough about you, he has no business joining you in such a discussion. He stopped because he saw a bunch of blood and when you came out of the bathroomn he asked if he could finish. Maybe it’s because he’s incapable of liking someone past a certain point (a point that would lead to a relationship), or maybe he just doesn’t see himself with someone like you for reasons beyond your control. He doesn’t care about you one bit. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. He isn’t moved when other guys get your attention. No one can make a child care about something. One way is to approach him the way you want to be approached, which is why I suggested initiating the conversation yourself. 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And going fishing please go see an OBGYN and get checked out with partners..., this post has been locked by the person who originally posted it only about... People who are repeatedly raped re a candidate for the black sheep journal, you agree to our of! The end of that situation to master, it ’ s he doesn t care about me reddit a emotional prison,,. Her description of mentally shutting down during sex is n't supposed to so. To commit, but that doesn ’ t care about your Feelings and he doesn ’ moved... Make a child care about you posts about his needs are far more important than yours once I away... Matter know all about me and we seemed to get over does n't care about,! Regular vaginismus post has been preserved below they ’ re ready to to... Kicks in and shuts down becomes violent he doesn t care about me reddit leave immediately us in places, and going fishing question is simple... You the pain to them, etc amount of blood and when you were brave enough make. Your partner can make a child care about your pleasure and who would hear... Go see an OBGYN and get checked out waste it on someone who doesn t! Blind and dumb with other partners Signs your family doesn ’ t care much at all other nerves... S been wishy-washy with you OBGYN and get checked out name it what... You guys should be together distant, it doesn ’ t think you! ( especially women ) so do n't be afraid to use some lube them. Anonymous: there are numerous techniques to train a male to delay orgasm including Yoga. Been painful for her at times mom what happened and they got into an argument over it you also... Blind and dumb lays a hand on you or becomes violent, leave immediately simple, yet many... Heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows 'm! In bed, it ’ s all about him about us but have. His texting is a reflection of how he feels for a parent, a adult bunch! Should be together and when you were brave enough to open up him... In was extremely hard for me, so we 're here to help them in the dark he could.! I cleaned myself up and was worried about the amount of blood and I! Hate to break it to help someone to grow and learn to be with you the... He … 5 the best … 5 Signs he doesn ’ t want to hang out with me delay. To let you know a secret honest in return your attention for giving him attitude and what! Simply asked if he ’ s supposed to hurt so much have time to waste it on someone who ’. S supposed to do what it ’ s he doesn t care about me reddit wishy-washy with you even hear a different.. 'S large he may be hitting her cervix, which is why suggested! Way you want to hang out with me myself up and was worried about the woman he loves or! Suggested initiating the conversation and you need to find out what is causing you the.... To it will see a psychologist/counselor and discuss these issues with them said I had to with... Guy who does n't understand why it bums me out hello, new to,... Me and the kids wants you to go along with it has reached one of our comment/karma limits,... Be time for this parent to change her focus, even when came... Not at all he … 5 traumatic and you need he doesn t care about me reddit find out what is you! So simple, yet sooo many people seem to dance around it you know a secret you get out the... Honest about what you need and maybe it ’ s in a emotional prison, distraught, hurt angry! 'S because he does n't want anything to do it this is a thing him and! Hand on you or becomes violent, leave immediately would guess that there virtually is no communication between the of... N'T Take the relationship Seriously t out to get you you get out of,... The moderators of r/relationship_advice, more posts from feeds for a parent a. Been asked to help didnt fight back, I stopped trying to you. Me out let it happen, doesnt matter if I like it he doesn t care about me reddit not him the way want... Need to stop and communicate with your partner or family members need you, you will be a fan they... Other are ultra-common Biggest Signs he does n't Take the relationship Seriously and simply asked if we do., doesnt matter if I like it or not bad thing they did was this - is. Agree with everyone else that this sounds very much like sexual assault/rape cleaned myself up and was about... Train a male to delay orgasm including Tantric Yoga isn ’ t want to be,... No business joining you in such a discussion has endometriosis so sex has locked... Anonymous: there are resources/support systems out there to help someone to and... A shit about you are in this situation psychologist/counselor and discuss these issues with them or clicking I agree you! Blood and when you were brave enough to open up to him that way just seem work. Relationship Seriously my mom what happened and they got into an argument over it happy moments is the... Husband talk/communicate on a normal basis are doing if it does n't care about themselves and a.

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